I wrote this on March 22, 2002, back when I was a homeowner in Escondido, CA. With some minor edits, here it is:
We got a letter from the Home Owner’s Association. It seems they don’t like something about our home.
…It was noted during a recent walk-through of the Association that gym equipment which is stored in your garage is visible through the garage window which faces Holly Oak Lane. ….blah, blah, blah.
Where do I start?
First of all, nothing is visible in our garage from the street. In order to see what is inside our garage, you would have to go onto our property, put your nose up against the glass of the garage window and look inside. Then and only then would you even know what is inside the single-car garage.
Next point, since when is a new piece of gym equipment considered unsightly? Other neighbors have power saws, boxes, and one guy even has a full homebrewing operation inside his garage. Have these neighbors been asked to cover the window to their garages? Nope.
And for the record we aren’t storing gym equipment, we are using gym equipment.
What is ugly? Ugly is the sight of some middle-aged man that is unable to do a single push-up.
If the Home Owner’s Association really wanted to make our neigborhood beautiful, they should be encouraging weight training, not trying to cover it up. Ask yourself, would you rather have your neighbors fat and frail or beautiful and buff?
The HOA will be pleased to know that window has been now been covered. Now the rest of the community will be shielded from the deep dark secret that I lift weights. That is unless they come by and hear the Marilyn Manson cranked and the sound of metal clanging.
The Beautiful People, The Beautiful People!