This White Man Can’t Jump

For the second time this month, my basketball got stuck behind the rim. The first time it happened I thought it was the freak event of the year. Then it happened again today. Perhaps it has something to do with the cold weather?


I can bench press my weight and do 20 consecutive pull-ups, but this white man can’t jump. I was unable to get the ball via vertical leap. In order to get it down, I use the “remove a shoe and fling it” strategy. The shoe was able to hit and free the ball without getting stuck itself.

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Critical MAS is the blog for Michael Allen Smith of Seattle, Washington. My interests include traditional food, fitness, economics, and web development.

3 thoughts on “This White Man Can’t Jump”

  1. Just had a thought though it is more of a theory that needs validation :): The cold could have caused the metal bolts fastening the hoop to the backboard to contract, tightening them further. Over-tightened bolts would tend to tilt the hoop upwards which could explain why the ball gets stuck behind it.

  2. Actually, this analysis is more a result of having assembled a lot of furniture in warm as well as cold weather and over-tightened quite a few bolts in the process 🙂

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